Day 3

I know I have heard something about the 4th day of dieting always being the hardest. I think it’s the 4th anyway. Apparently, the first three days people are usually really excited and all gung-ho but without quick fix results, enthusiasm wanes. I am not looking forward to tomorrow because my first day (night) was tough, as was yesterday. I just got all wrapped up in the moment when reading the book that it seemed so doable. All I focused on were the recipes and ingredients. I also read what to order at specific restaurants- drive-thru, fast food and sit down. I thought I was all set. I’m now realizing I didn’t take much real life into account. The Perfect Body Diet really means well I think, but it seems to assume that I dictate what I eat, when and where. That seems plausible, but only if you don’t have a social life, family or husband. When you are at a sporting event for multiple hours, Subway doesn’t bring your garden fresh salad with a light sprinkling of oil and vinegar to your seat. Just like everyone else you get your choice of the ever-popular, popcorn caked in pseudo butter, the stale round tortilla chips with can o’ cheese dipping sauce posing as nachos or, my personal favorite, the giant heaven of carbolicious goodness packed with extra sodium for your snacking pleasure- the soft pretzel. Now I have two choices: follow the strict guidelines and eat something every 3 hours OR follow the strict guidelines and avoid any of the concession goodies. On that particular evening at Pullman High, I went with option A. I cannot promise to be so strong next time.

After the longest high school football game in history, my little family and I went to my parents’ for my dad’s birthday dinner. Enter beautiful taco bar. *sigh* Oh how I love you, Mexican food. Nonetheless I helped myself to the lettuce, tomatoes, onions and salsa and made a big, fatty, lame taco salad with a side of refried beans. After dinner the temptations grew more intense as my sister brought out Dad’s birthday cake. It was a jumbo chocolate chip cookie the size of a large pizza with beautiful birthday wishes printed in a velvety cream cheese frosting. I wish I were one of those people who hate frosting. I am more of the stick-my-finger-in-for-at-least-one-tablespoon-sized-taste-everytime-I-make-a-cake type. The diet angel and demon on either side of my shoulder started arguing at that point. Demon reminded us how rude it would be to not at least taste my sister’s handiwork, how I could just have a tiny sliver and how oh-so-yummy it would be. Angel said, “No” (bitch). Angel won, although I am not sure how. Her argument sucked.

That night my poor baby Sophia had a cold and was up most of the night. Being up so much made me very hungry. Of course, the only thing out and available was about half of the cookie cake. I could have eaten the entire thing alone, I’m sure. But victory was mine again.

Last night was my Mommy Club meeting. It was held in the banquet room of El Sombrero, my favorite Mexican restaurant in town. I genuinely meant to eat a little something before I left, but it takes quite awhile for me to feel prepared to leave the house and go to a place where I KNOW I will meet strangers who will judge me. I got there just in time to be starving! Still, I had three chips (heaped with salsa) and a small margarita. Regular. In my mind peach, strawberry and the other rainbow of flavors have added mixer, so added calories. I have no idea if that’s how things really go down at “The Hat”, but in my mind it made me feel like I was taking the high road. I went home and had strips of green peppers dipped in homemade hummus. When I was still hungry, I had a bowl of bran flakes topped with ground flax seed and berries for dessert.

Enough of my bragging. Did I mention how I haven’t yet completed a single workout. I know, so much for following the diet perfectly. I didn’t even make it the first day! So dear blog, I will leave you with two promises. 1.) I will absolutely do a full workout today. 2.) I promise the next post won’t be so lame and will not include a food diary.

A New Plan (again?)

Hello again!

I would like to say that during my most recent leave of absence, I have lost 20 lbs, won a local Mrs. Beauty contest and have been so busy princess-waving off of parade floats that I haven’t had time to write. Unfortunately, I think you know me well enough to know that would definitely be a bold faced lie. More honestly, I am essentially the same as the last time I reported in. I did a few Friday weigh-ins, but when nothing changes, those aren’t terribly interesting. Frankly, this blog is as much about my journey as a writer as it is my journey as a wanna-be “Momshell”. When there is no story, I have no reason to write.

Since I my last posting, I have learned something about myself. The limited accountability is not enough. Granted, regularly posting my true weight on the internet for all to see makes me want to punch myself in the face, but that is obviously not enough to put a fire under my ass. I don’t post regularly enough to have true accountability. I write when I want to. Which brings up another problem- after I post my terribly honest but comical mumblings, I get praise from my peers. This sounds great (it is), but my ego is stroked and I get excited. I am so very delighted that there are people who enjoy my writing that I forget about the big lard butt I sit on when I write.

School has begun again. I am a nerd. I like school. I like all my classes. I also like that I am now free to be a real brown-noser of a student. I am so much older and chubbier than my trendy classmates, that being a “cool kid” is now completely out of the question. I am 25, and you would be surprised massive age difference between 19 and 25. Or maybe you wouldn’t. I’m sure being a married, mama, fuddy-duddy doesn’t help. I have one cool kid friend. My little brother in all his “22-year-old,-college-athlete,-party-boy” glory, has joined me at LCSC. Since he waited until the VERY last minute to register, he is also in a few of my classes (Shakespeare and Creative Writing: Nonfiction, HA!). We see each other often between classes as well. On one such occasion, I complemented his outfit. His response, “You know how I do, always keeping it fresh for the ladies”. (And people need translators for Shakespeare!) Whatever, after that he continued on by saying, “Hey, actually, you look pretty fly today too… surprisingly”. I don’t think he even realized what he said or what that really implied. He just went on to trash whatever theater geek walked by next. Meanwhile that statement has been emblazoned into my memory. I have always been, um… “curvier” than the girls (skanks) my brother goes after, but he always would say I was pretty and/or had good style. And now… I think not.

At any rate, all this has led to me making a REAL commitment. For starters, I researched and selected a real diet and fitness plan. I bought Women’s Health: The Perfect Body Diet. I like it. It’s all about eating/working out best for your specific body type- the age-old apple or pear standard. I, with all my torso fullness, am an apple. I spent almost a week reading the whole book, doing the prep-work, making notes and grocery shopping. Today is my first, full, official day and I haven’t cheated yet. I am going all out. I will give this plan a real chance. I can make it 8 weeks, especially since I get a “cheat day” at the end of every 2 weeks I complete successfully. I may spend 14 days straight waiting for day 15, but I WILL do this. The book includes the meal plans, recipes and workouts. All I have to do is follow the directions. Easier said than done, I know. So goodbye for now, because I have to go do today’s workout before my Sophia wakes from her nap!