I'm ok...

Oh dear blog of mine, it has been too long. It has been about a week and a half since I wrote last. I guess I fell off the wagon. By that I mean both the blogging wagon as well as the dieting wagon. As per my commitment, I had a weekly weigh in on the last two Fridays. For my first weigh-in, I found my previous statement of being 170 was false. I am 172. After that sad news, I should have stepped it up and gotten really serious, but I did not. Instead, I linked this blog to my facebook profile as recommended by my husband. I have to admit it was rather exciting to have people actually read what I write. It was also nice to receive encouraging words regarding my writing and my current figure. On the other hand, having people tell me that I look good and not to be so hard on myself just put me back where I was before I began this little journey. I think I gave the impression that I was experiencing postpartum depression or self hatred by making digs at my own body. That’s not really the idea. For one, exaggerating is humorous to me. It makes my life more entertaining to write and read about. Secondly, it adds a sense of priority to the situation. If I sit around thinking I look fine, I absolutely will eat ice cream everyday. If I acknowledge that I am light-years away from my recommended BMI, I will take charge of my own lifestyle and eating habits and be the person I want to be. Likewise if I spend most of my time at home (which I do) and don’t recognize where overeating, frumpy clothes and laziness will get me, I will become my worst nightmare- the polar opposite of a “momshell”.
I would be lying to say my confidence hasn’t suffered through my pregnancy and entrance into motherhood. At the same time, other parts of me have really blossomed. I am not experiencing manic or postpartum depression. I am not bi-polar. I am not about to become anorexic or bulimic. I am working on me in the way that best suits me- through honesty, writing, humor and openness.
That said, let’s get back down to business. So after all the “Laurel, you ARE hot, don’t be a hater” comments, I took some time off. I didn’t go to McDonald’s and order one of everything, but I didn’t work out every day and I ate some things that probably didn’t contribute to a healthier lifestyle. Before I knew it, it was Friday again. I go t back on the scale and surprise, surprise, I was still 172. This time it was happy news. Not happy that I was 172 (yikes!), happy that I had a no worries, no diet, no exercise week and maintained my weight. Good to know. Thursday afternoon I took a 3+ mile walk with my new mommy friend and stroller pal, but I think that was my only “workout” all week. Friday my little family and I went out of town to visit some friends for the weekend. I didn’t have any designated workout time, but I did spend time outside, go for walks pushing the stroller and try not to completely gorge myself on junk food. Hell, I even ordered a green salad and grilled chicken breast when we went out to lunch! I also cheated and weighed myself once. It was a Weight Watchers scale that went to the nearest tenth of a pound. It was calling my name. It looked so accurate; I just wanted to see how it measured up to my own bathroom scale. On Saturday afternoon, I weighed myself fully dressed. I was 171.3. I realize that is not a big difference from the 172 I weighed at home, but it seemed like a small success to me. So here I am, back home again and ready to go again. Now all I need is some summer sunshine to show up so I will take more walks with Sophia this week!