Bored Already??

Sometimes my lack of patience really gets the best of me. Why do things have to take so damn long? I am so that girl who would spends way to much money on weight loss magic pills if a.) I believed they would work at all and b.) they weren’t so awful for you. And while I am being totally honest, my workout video sucks. I have done the workout all of 4 times and it bores me out of my mind already. I have decided to stick it out with Miss Skinny Blond and her two mute friends simply because she made me a promise. She promised me that if I did her lame workout 2-3 times a week every week for 4 weeks, I would see results. I would have a leaner, more sculpted figure. She said my clothes would fit better, even if I didn’t lose a pound. Frankly giving her that many hours of my life without so much as a single pound of weight loss makes me want to scratch her eyes out, but I am going to give it a try. I guess I’ve already invested more than 25% of the required time so I may as well go all the way.

I’m sick of weighing myself everyday. I think I need to convert to a more Weight Watchers way of life. I should implement a weekly or biweekly weigh in. I am weighing myself several times a day and then over analyzing my weight every time. “Oh shit, maybe my hair is too wet”, “Was I wearing socks last time”, “I knew I should have peed first”. It’s amazing how many excuses I can come up with for a day’s fluctuation. Starting this week, I will weigh myself on Friday mornings. I will do so first thing, before I have had a chance to eat and come up with excuses. Then I will take it one step further and log said weight-ins in this blog.

Currently, I am a whopping 170. Remember Tyra Banks’ “Kiss My Fat Ass” campaign? I think she was like 165 then…. And a whole lot taller than me! My weight isn’t the only issue. My BMI is like 29. It should be around 23. My goal weight of 135 would bring me to a 23.2. I need to lose one extra pound to hit the 23 mark. Either way, I’ve got a long way to go. Summer is really closing in on me too. Yikes! What are my options? I think I can go with the full on grandma swimsuit complete with the skirt, the “miracle slimming” option that make everything not trapped in the suit squeeze out like sausage links or finally just be the woman who sits there in frumpy clothes, totally unwilling to move.

Sometimes I look at little Sophia and get so jealous. Why can’t adult fat rolls mean you are healthy and cute? She has it so good and doesn’t even know it.

The Beginning

I won't pretend my life is perfect. Although I wouldn't change the main components, there are parts of my life that definately need some tweaking.

I love my husband and he has given me that most beautiful, precious baby girl in the world. "Given" may the wrong choice of words. After 3 months of puking, 6 months of "hugeness", 50 lbs., a road map of stretch marks and 60 hours of med-free labor and delivery, she wasn't exactly a free and clear present. Fast forward to now. Sophia is just over 3 months old and I have become "that woman". You know the one. The one that puts twice as much time into her child as she does herself. She has adorable kids with cute little hair bows and precious mary-janes shoes, all the while shlubbing around in sweats and an old tank top. Her hair has roots showing and needs shape, life, ANYTHING! She reserves makeup for "special occasions". GAH! Really, Laurel??

I NEVER planned to be this woman. I have a fantastic collection of makeup including every color of the rainbow and various options for every category (i.e. eyeliner in liquid, creme, and pencil forms)! I have flat irons, curling irons, hot rollers, blow dryers, and plenty of product. I have several pairs of fabulous heels, a closet full of purses and more jewelry than my jewelry box can hold. I have almost always wanted to be the pretty girly-girl who has flawless hair and makeup and great fitting clothes with just the right amount of cleavage and leg. I can't say I ever became Cosmo cover material- but I tried, especially considering my fairly limited budget.

So how did I get here? I am literally sitting in my husband’s basketball shorts wearing and plain white tank top that shows way to much of my very unsexy nursing bra. I have on no makeup and my hair is in a disheveled pony tail. I am the anti hot.

After the 50 lbs of weight gain, even the birth of my daughter and 3 months of breastfeeding have left me with a very distant weight goal. Now is the time to start going after it. I have 20 lbs to go to just reach my prepregnancy weight. I was at good 10 lbs overweight before I got pregnant. That means I have 35ish pounds to go to be in the target zone. This blog is going to follow me through all 35 lbs of weight loss. After each 5 lbs lost, I will complete some other hotness-inducing action. It could be anything from a spray tan to new jeans.

My plan has to be simple. I am still breastfeeding so I can’t cut calories too drastically. That eliminates any fad diets or “flushes”. Nor can I get any help from diet pills, even FDA approved ones. I have to just eat healthier and smarter. I have been using a lot of recipes from eatbetteramerica.com and plan to continue doing so. I have a gym membership and plan to make it worth the money spent on it. I am not going to commit to using the gym daily, but I can incorporate daily physical activity for 45 mins. or more into my routine. Yesterday I did a 40 minute workout video from SELF magazine and then took Sophia for a 30 minute walk. I guess that means I need to get my chubby butt up and get some activity logged in for today. Wish me well!