Got Milk?

This is so frustrating! Tuesday I worked out for about 50 minutes doing the SELF video and some extra lunges and crunches and such. After my husband came home from work, he and I took Sophia for a walk. We began at a track and did 7 laps. Some of them we jogged. From there we walked to a nearby city walking path. It’s scenic but very hilly so we got some extra benefit from the inclines. I think we must have walked for close to 2 hours. Wednesday I was feeling the perfect amount of soreness. Encouraged, I was able to control my eating very well. By 2pm I had consumed some coffee with a bit of stevia, low-fat all natural yogurt and a slice of wheat bread with peanut butter. I sat down with Sophia and a big glass of water, prepared to breastfeed. Apparently, in the past 24 hours or so, I hadn’t provided my body with the appropriate calories to produce enough milk for my daughter. She and I were both pretty unimpressed. What’s a girl to do?!?

Of course, since I already had plans with two of my girl friends (one is 9 mos. pregnant and the other one is the mother of a 7 month old), we went to Applebee’s for ½ price appetizers. Because of my nursing issues, I took the green light to consume as many calories as possible. I did only have water to drink and didn’t completely stuff myself, but I don’t even want to know how many fat grams I had just slapped on my chubby body. After the appetizer dinner of nachos, spinach-artichoke dip and wonton tacos, Sophia and I came home and took a nice long walk with husband. I still got my required 45 minutes of activity in, but I was frustrated. I guess I am just having a hard time finding the right balance of caloric intake and physical activity to produce enough milk for my baby girl and still lose weight.

This morning my milk was back to normal. I had a cup of coffee and a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats and skim milk. I think I will eat plenty of calories, but make sure they are coming from healthy/whole foods. There is a big difference between 200 calories of milk, almonds or cheese and 200 calories of soda, chips or ice cream.
I haven’t weighed myself since Tuesday. Tomorrow is my first official weigh in. Of course I’m super excited for that…

Bored Already??

Sometimes my lack of patience really gets the best of me. Why do things have to take so damn long? I am so that girl who would spends way to much money on weight loss magic pills if a.) I believed they would work at all and b.) they weren’t so awful for you. And while I am being totally honest, my workout video sucks. I have done the workout all of 4 times and it bores me out of my mind already. I have decided to stick it out with Miss Skinny Blond and her two mute friends simply because she made me a promise. She promised me that if I did her lame workout 2-3 times a week every week for 4 weeks, I would see results. I would have a leaner, more sculpted figure. She said my clothes would fit better, even if I didn’t lose a pound. Frankly giving her that many hours of my life without so much as a single pound of weight loss makes me want to scratch her eyes out, but I am going to give it a try. I guess I’ve already invested more than 25% of the required time so I may as well go all the way.

I’m sick of weighing myself everyday. I think I need to convert to a more Weight Watchers way of life. I should implement a weekly or biweekly weigh in. I am weighing myself several times a day and then over analyzing my weight every time. “Oh shit, maybe my hair is too wet”, “Was I wearing socks last time”, “I knew I should have peed first”. It’s amazing how many excuses I can come up with for a day’s fluctuation. Starting this week, I will weigh myself on Friday mornings. I will do so first thing, before I have had a chance to eat and come up with excuses. Then I will take it one step further and log said weight-ins in this blog.

Currently, I am a whopping 170. Remember Tyra Banks’ “Kiss My Fat Ass” campaign? I think she was like 165 then…. And a whole lot taller than me! My weight isn’t the only issue. My BMI is like 29. It should be around 23. My goal weight of 135 would bring me to a 23.2. I need to lose one extra pound to hit the 23 mark. Either way, I’ve got a long way to go. Summer is really closing in on me too. Yikes! What are my options? I think I can go with the full on grandma swimsuit complete with the skirt, the “miracle slimming” option that make everything not trapped in the suit squeeze out like sausage links or finally just be the woman who sits there in frumpy clothes, totally unwilling to move.

Sometimes I look at little Sophia and get so jealous. Why can’t adult fat rolls mean you are healthy and cute? She has it so good and doesn’t even know it.

Perhaps I’m stupid. I truly expected the scale to read a lower number the day after my first post. I mean, I had been active in Operation Get Hot for three full days! Surely that’s enough for my bitter old scale to offer me at least the promise of a better figure by shaving a few pounds. Ha! No such luck. Of course I wasn’t expecting to be a size three after a couple of days of in home workouts, but a little drop after a full week of daily workouts would have been nice. Either way, I have seen no change and I am all the more determined to loose some weight.

Wednesday I got about as hot as I can without donning a LBD and heels. I had my trooper of a husband take a picture for my “before” shot. I am hoping if I do that monthly, there will be obvious changes in each picture. The jeans I am wearing are a 12. And a tight 12 at that. I refuse to buy size 14. Clever girl that I am, I attempted to camouflage my “muffin-top” with a strapless bubble top and sucking in as much as possible. It’s still there. At this particular point in my life, that’s as good as it gets. So that’s me. Not hideous, but looking rather chunky and quite lackluster. I wanna be hot! And actually, before I’m even ready to tackle that goal, I’d really just like to be able wear more than 5 things in my entire closet.

Thursday I didn’t workout at all. I went for a quick walk with Sophia and that was it. Besides that, I have put in at least 45 minutes of heart pumping physical activity every day this week. One day I even ran- pushing about 25 lbs of stroller and baby! I also have applied at least a bit of makeup everyday. Progress is progress, no matter how small.

I love my husband, he is really supportive and is continuously reminding me that I just had a baby, he loves me, I’m beautiful and not to be so hard on myself. Of course I always respond logically by bursting into tears and telling him, “Shut up, I don’t wanna be fat”. Other people also tell me women’s bodies change, blah, blah, blah. I get that. That’s fine. The problem is I was working with some extra curves before I packed on baby weight. Now I am absolutely petrified of becoming the woman who is still carrying “baby weight” after “baby” starts kindergarten. Despite what dear husband may say, he still gapes at the UFC ring girls. I don’t want sympathy and understanding. I want those kinds of stares!

It’s time to really dig in on the things I can change instantly. I just ordered a pedicure spa. I realize that cute toes don’t make a woman hot, but it’s a great start. For about the price of a good pedicure, I bought the best part- the bubbly, massaging bath. I have a paraffin bath, pumice, masks, scrubs and all the basics. Now I have no excuse for my feet (and hands) to not look great all summer long.

Well, it’s time to get started on my workout while Sophia is still napping. Peace!